Mid-semester/Raya Break

Dear Blog,

I'm not going back for the short break, as usual.

Plans?

1. Assignments.

-complete ALL of them; one by one. I shall give you the list soon. =)

2. Study.

-Yes, I'm saying it. S.T.U.D.Y. -relying on Him for the help. Can't keep the books from library and not use it at all.

3. Part time job.

-Still looking for one.

4. CF-ing

- many things about it =)

5. Blogging

-yes, haven't forgotten about you =)

Basically, that's it. Not fun? Which part of it isn't fun for you? It all sure does look fun for me. And , no, I'm not being sarcastic =)

-sh3r3N- =)

My Goal

Dear blog,

This is quite random. I was studying. I just realized, again, that if I actually REALLY study, I CAN do well, VERY well actually. Why am I more concerned with and about other things than studying and scoring the best I can? I got a 'slap' in church on Sunday. Put me to deep thoughts. Why have I been like this always. Responsibilities and commitments are not a burden. In fact, its something I WANT to do; for many reasons. I don't blame it at all when I don't do well in my studies. Others should not as well. Well, those and these responsibilities and commitment are there for a reason. And I don't give priority for any. Blame me when I don't do well. Blame me when I forget to do something or forget to finish something. Blame me, ME, when something goes wrong. Not my responsibilities and commitments. Especially serving God. Serving God is not a co-curricular activity darling. Serving Him, its just my passion. He's my dad. I'm His daughter. How can I not do anything for Him? What I should be scolded for is not doing my best in my studies. Blame ME for that. My problem I see is, my time management. I'm still very bad at it. And I get worried too much, still. Though I keep reading the book of Matthew on that part bout getting worried, I STILL get worried for every single thing. I realize that to a certain extend, I am a perfectionist too. I have expectations. I don't think its wrong. I think it at least pushes me in doing something. How I wish I have the same HIGH expectations in every single thing. Or I'm just having too many things to do? I don't know. I need to learn to put my trust in others too. Their capabilities, their gifts, their help,their concern. Or maybe I do but I sympathize them and don't want to burden them with so many things or maybe I'm being too kind and trying help anyone in any way I can. If I do that, its because I believe in the Golden Rule. And also because some people DO that for me too. So I give what I get. I may not be perfect. But I try my best to do my best I what I can do because in certain things, I just can't be THAT good at it. After all, I'm just a normal average girl. Am I not?

What was intended to be short became long, as usual. I just wanted to tell you Blog, that I have this one main goal. But its not really that goal I'm thinking about now. Its the sub-goal in the main goal that I keep thinking about for past few days.

I don't wanna tell it directly. Not because I'm afraid of not being able to achieve it or anything like that. Maybe next time k? But this goal, I MUST, I HAVE to, I NEED to, I sure can achieve. Because I'm totally relying and depending on Him. I'm helpless without Him. And through Him too, I'll be able to do it, and for Him, i'll testify about it when I've achieved it; just to glorify His name and to be a living testimony for Him. Its really not easy. In fact, with my naked eyes and helpless strength, I won't be able to achieve it. But I have Him; my Father. He'll give me what I want, and this is something I need. It'll take effort; quite a sum. And it'll also take faith; in Him alone.

THAT'S my goal. My one sub-goal from the main goal.

I need to continue studying Bloggy.

I love you Father..... =)

Sh3r3N

Dear blog,

Hey, its been really long since I dropped by to even say hi. So, Hi =)
I just realized, you look quite pretty. Really. Can I take some credits for that? *wink =p
Have I been abandoning you? Well, I thin I've been abandoning quite a lot of people. I blame myself for that. Poor time management.
Dear blog, I've got lots to share. But I don't want to do the same mistake.
To may darling Daddy, I know I'm always pouring out and never listening, or seldom. I'm sorry. I'm just so dependent on you Lord. Or am I being more dependent to others? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do so.

Dear blog, you know, sometimes I feel abandoned too. I don't know why I feel such.

Well, I don't want to make you start crying. =D
I'll jot down more later aite? Gonna be at library tonight. So I'll definitely be awake. Its National Day celebration tomorrow. Yea, Merdeka =)

I shall leave now. Get some work done.

I miss you bloggie.
And again, I love you Daddy darling... =)

Sheren does not know what to name this post

Its been really long since I last blogged. Can't remember when was the last time. So many things I wanted and want to talk about. Just so many. The only One who actually listens to every single thing I say is my Beloved one. But then again, I feel like I'm the one who's always doing the talking and not listening to Him till He has to tell me things through others and other ways. Sorry for that Lord. At times, I know I've always been very dependent on my own strength and also on others. I'm also sorry for that. At times I also feel lonely. Very lonely. Don't know who I can share things to. Sometimes I admit, actually most of the time, I limit the things I talk with others or share with them. Because I don't know how they'll take it or what they'll think about it. Oh yes, I'm VERY people-conscious.
Lately I've been sighing a lot too. I'm just disappointed with myself. Am I a perfectionist or am I just pure stupid? Many times people scolded me for calling myself stupid. But seriously, I deserve it. There are many things to do, but where's my time management? If others can still do it, why can't I? Oh and another thing. Why is it that whenever someone talks about something that is happening but it doesn't seem like so well or so good or so positive, people just blame them and say they're being very negative or pessimistic or complaining a lot? Well, its something that is happening. Good or bad. What's wrong with talking about it? Talking about it doesn't necessarily mean they're complaining. Some people are just purely complaining, even complain every single thing they can get to complain about. But some people aren't. They're just pouring it out. What's wrong with that?
Now I just feel like letting it out too.
Sheren, is this how you wanna continue living your life? What's gonna happen to you?
I try not to let out the negative, but sometimes it just helps. You know what I mean? I'm not perfect. Its not easy to be a a good example always. I'm still growing, learning.There's so much I wanna share. Really. And no, they're not all emo-tic like this. Maybe tonight.

I love You, Lord...

-Sh3r3n-