:)

Today someone told me that my writing skills are good, that my blog posts are interesting to read, and that when I write something, I can really attract people to want to feel that experience for themselves (or something like that).

So, it actually really made me happy. Why? Coz' I thought no one reads my blogs, besides me myself, which is pathetic. And I didn't even thought that my posts were interesting. Well, basically, its because they're my thoughts, random thoughts. It can be confusing when people read it, coz' I jump from one thing to another and also I don't end the way I start it.

However, it also motivated me to update my blog more frequently. Oh by the way, I'm looking for a job now. Since I don't have the time to work somewhere, like a promoter or something, I'm looking for a job which I can work on when I have the time, anytime, and I don't need to go/be anywhere specific. I.e. writing. I do love writing actually. I really do. Especially when I have the ideas, inspirations, and the motivation and the mood. That's quite a lot of requirement there, isn't it? I know. Maybe that's why I don't really update my blog that often and I've stop writing my diary (which is now through my blog) and my journals (for my quiet time, and I have issues/problems with my quiet time too, not good) and also anything interesting that I feel like writing about.

So, back to me trying get a job. I've been googling for jobs like that, writing articles, freelancing, etc. I even sent emails to ask about some job adds that I saw/found. Some replied. But after some discussion, it just came to an end, sadly. But I didn't give up. I keep googling. And I still am. I really hope to get this writing jobs. Writing articles. I'm not sure if I can cope up with it. It would require a lot of commitment and effort and also time. I will spending 2 weeks in Kudat after my finals. I wouldn't have time then, definitely. But maybe when I'm back home, I would definitely have the time, but then, I need to make sure I get committed to it and also put all my effort in. Well, there are really a lot of benefits that I'll gain from it anyway. It wouldn't be a waste of my time.

However, one of the main reason I wanna look for a job is for my finance. I really don't wanna ask my parents when I need money. I'm already 22. How long more do they need to support me? Why I need money and what I need it for? That's another story. One of it, Australs, which now, I'm having second thoughts about it and another thing, handphone. Its not something I want. Its something I need. I need to get myself a phone. A proper phone. I guess I explained it in my previous post. Australs and other things, that'll be another post...

Today I got the word from God saying that instead of taking control,, I should let go. Sometimes, I don't really know if I'm letting go or taking control when I do something. Letting go doesn't mean not doing anything about it, does it? I'm not sure about it myself. So, Pa, I need another answer/ word of confirmation for my curiosity; whether what I'm doing now is letting go or taking control. If I'm taking control, I really am sorry. Then, I would need Your help to help me to let go if what I'm taking control of and take care of it. Sorry for always putting You in this situation. You can consider me as one of Your little girl who always gets in a mess and is naughty and stubborn and confused, blurred small girl who does a mess, gets into trouble and needs her Daddy to rescue her, and help her get out of the mess. I know I can't be like this forever, I know I need to grow. That is, through spending more time reading Your word, and talking to You. I am trying to be consistent on that. Not that I'm not reading Your word at all, not that I'm not talking to You at all. Just that, I'm not doing it consistently. You know that right, Pa? I'm not asking You to understand. I just, need You. Always. Now and forever.

What am I gonna do now? What am I supposed to do now?

Make coffee and work on starting and finishing both my assignments.

Like what I always say/quote;

Philippians 4:14 - I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.

Amen

Signing out,

-Sheren-