Oh man......

Dear blog,

I'm facing a problem now. No, not that I'm blogging a lot. I'm starting to have regrets. Bout my course. Well, you know people say do what you love to do, and you'll be good at it? You see, I love language. Any language actually. But mostly English. I love English. I love reading, writing. I've been in drama, debate, and public speaking. All these has got to do with English. I just love English. Don't ask me why. I don't know. But I don't like teaching. So that's why I didn't do TESL. I love the ESL part but I don't like the T part. So, hence, I didn't even apply for TESL. Instead I applied all for business courses. And I got it. What? International Business.

You see blog, I love my course. Its cool, fun, I love it. Though the lecturers give a lot of assignments, I still love my course. But then, the problem is, I'm actually not good with numbers. I even got a B4 for my SPM Mathematics. Very embarrassing right? I know. I really know. I'm very bad with numbers. Its actually because I don't practice and I don't have confidence when it has anything to do with studying numbers. That's why I'm very bad at it. Basically, no interest. So I feel like I did a mistake. A MAJOR mistake which is gonna ruin my life, well, like my future. Like my 2 years plus my one final year is wasted.

What do I do? I can't turn back now. I won't. I know I need to put the interest in me somehow. I need to try harder to get a way better GPA. I'm not doing badly. I'm doing averagely, and I don't like it. I don't wanna remain being average. Just that, for the past one week, I've been thinking a lot about how it would have been like if I'm actually doing TESL now and my interest in writing, its just enhancing my thoughts. Oh baby what do I do? I need to stop this thoughts. They're not bad but they not helping. They're making ME feel bad and they're distracting. Instead of studying or reading something, I'm actually more on the grammar and the way they're writing the stuff. Pathetic right?

I need to stop this. This is kinda funny, but also kinda serious for me. I can do this. I chose to do this. And I believe God's with me and He'll help me go through it. I can do this.

Sheren leaving again, for now.

xoxo